June, 2009

Tell the World to Wait

We live in a fast paced world. Technology is advancing all the time only making things go faster. We have faster cars, more fast food restaurants, faster internet connection options, accelerated school programs so you can get your degree faster, etc. You name it and we try to make it bigger, better and faster. We hate to wait. The faster things become the more impatient we are.

Who doesn’t love instant gratification? We love it, we want it, we crave it. My plea today is to make you STOP. Even if it’s only long enough to read these words. Just stop. Tell the world to wait. You don’t have to get caught up in the busyness and craziness of this fast paced planet. Just because everyone and everything around you seems to be going warp speed doesn’t mean you have to especially when it comes to your relationships.

I know our lives are truly short in the big scheme of things but that’s all the more reason for you to make sure you’re making the right choices and best decisions so that the little time we do have here in this world will count for Christ. Stop getting caught up in the world’s fast pace, make yourself slow down, take a step back and think. Think about your choices and the outcome they will have. Think about your decisions and the consequences you may be paying for them. Seek Godly counsel from a trusted confidant. Don’t go to the people you know will tell you what you want to hear.

God gives us instruction, He gives us boundaries, He put commandments in place to protect us. If we would only listen. If only it was easier to obey. He makes it possible; we just have to be willing. Waiting may be one of the hardest tasks to do ever! We hate waiting in line, in traffic, in the doctor’s office, in restaurants, and it seems no one even considers waiting in their relationships anymore. We want what we want when and wherever we want it. We have sex, babies,  and move in together before marriage, we put ourselves into debt because we want the nice car or nice home without working and waiting for it. God’s timing is always perfect; you just need to wait for it.

Impatience is really you being wrapped up in yourself and that’s called selfishness. Don’t rob God and yourself of the vital lessons He wants to teach you. Tell the world to wait and stop. Seek the voice of God and ask Him to block out all the others. Stop being disobedient and selfish and then blaming God when things go wrong. It’s not His fault. You will suffer the consequences of the decisions you make and that is how we learn. If you’re feeling pressure from people and this fast paced world to make decisions and choices you’re just not ready to make, then stop and tell them to wait.

Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. James 4:14-17

Wait on the Lord and pray you can discern His voice and His timing. No one is going to do this for you; you must define your own boundaries. We need more accountability. You need to be making this one life that you have count for Christ. It’s your responsibility. No one else will do it for you. Stop. Tell the world to wait. Be on God’s time, His pace, His schedule. If you’re seeking Him first everything else falls into place. (Matthew 6:33)

2 Peter 3:8-18

But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed.

Since all these things are thus to be dissolved, what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness, waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be set on fire and dissolved, and the heavenly bodies will melt as they burn! But according to his promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells.

Final Words

Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace. And count the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you according to the wisdom given him, as he does in all his letters when he speaks in them of these matters. There are some things in them that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other Scriptures. You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.

(Stop! and re-read this passage of scripture again.)

Keep Quiet Challenge!

Have you ever said something and then wished you could take it right back? What about thinking something in your head and then just blurting it out? And then you’re like, “did I just say that out loud?” Well I certainly have! There have been times I’ve spoken words and as they’re literally coming out of my mouth I wanted to reach into the air and magically grab each one and shove them back into my mouth! Can’t our mouths get us into such trouble at times! The tongue is a powerful member of our body, according to James 3:1-12.

Put a woman’s emotions together with a power such as the tongue and look out world! We can do catastrophic damage to our relationships in a matter of seconds! That’s all it takes, just a few simple words spoken out of anger or emotion and BAM your world has altered before your very eyes. This happens in all different kinds of relationships but my main focus for writing this today is to speak to women who are married, about to get married or will someday be married. I just wanted to share what I’ve been challenging myself with and I wanted to extend the same challenge to you today! (Teens/Young Adults you can also try this out with your parents!)

Women, we can talk, can’t we!? We love to talk, we need to talk! We feel like we might explode if we don’t talk! We were built and programmed to talk BUT if we aren’t careful all that talking can get us into big trouble. The words we speak can have big consequences we don’t want to face. We can find ourselves regretting words we’ve spoken. How many times have you spoken words you wish you could take back? How sorry have you been for saying something later you didn’t really mean? The tongue is powerful.

I’m sure most of you are well aware of all of this and are wondering what my point is, well here it is……ready…….It’s Okay to Keep QUIET! Truly, it’s okay not to speak! It’s okay to keep our mouth SHUT! As a matter of fact, my challenge to you is to TALK LESS! Try it out for just one week and see what happens. Then I challenge you to keep it going and have it become a common practice in your every day life! I have specifically been practicing this concept when it comes to my husband. Let me explain, I am fully aware that God created me and all women as emotional beings but the key is learning to have control over your emotions instead of allowing them to control you. We have to start somewhere so why not with our mouth!? Try being responsive instead of reactive. That means when your husbands says something that rubbed you in the wrong direction for whatever reason, just stop, think, physically bite your tongue if you have to but don’t just react out of your emotion and let the words fly off your tongue. Respond respectfully and lovingly. You may even come to find out that you just choose to Keep Quiet. You don’t have to say something all the time. It’s Okay to Keep Quiet.

Consciously keeping your mouth closed will help you to not be so careless with your words. Stop taking speech for granted; choose your words more wisely. You’ll avoid arguments with your husband; you’ll avoid speaking hurtful words out of anger and emotion. Start thinking before you speak. You know what I found out the days that I’m actually successful at this challenge? I’m much quieter than I used to be and it’s okay! J {Now women, keeping quiet with your mouth doesn’t mean “speaking loudly” in other ways as children do. For example, don’t ‘roll your eyes’, huff & puff, slam doors or cabinets in the kitchen etc. Even though you’re not speaking these types actions are disrespectful, not to mention childish, and the whole point of this challenge is to keep quiet, with our mouths and that includes our actions as well!}

Are you someone who is usually negative or gossips? Challenge yourself to Keep Quiet! Matthew 12:36-37 says we will have to give an account for every careless word we’ve spoken! Whoa! I don’t know about you but that is a very scary thought! That makes me never want to open my mouth ever again! Yikes! How many careless words have I spoken?! I shudder to think.

Wives listen to your husbands more. Challenge yourselves to listen to him, think about what he’s actually saying when he speaks, digest it, and even pray about it. You may find out after doing all that, a response isn’t even necessary. Do you object to most of the things your husband says? Do you always have an answer for everything? Challenge yourself to Keep Quiet.

Do I always keep quiet when I should? No! But since I’ve been challenging myself in this area the Lord has softened my heart and taught me many lessons that have become invaluable for my marriage. He too can teach you many lessons from this, obedience, respect, and every fruit of the Spirit to name a few (Galations 5:22-23). The Lord has a unique relationship with each of us and I’d love to hear what He shows you and what He speaks to your heart through this challenge to Keep Quiet. Please feel free to stop back and share your experience!

Lord Jesus, I pray for myself and all of your Beloved Daughters today, let us not grow weary or cold in our pursuit to become more like you. Lord give us understanding and open our eyes to see, respect, love and treat our husbands as you expect us to. Transform us to become like the woman described in Proverbs 31. Make us slow to speak and slow to anger. Lord give us discernment and wisdom on when to Keep Quiet. I pray you would speak to the heart of every woman deciding to take this challenge and show them how important it is to respect their husbands and that they can do that just by keeping quiet. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.

Know Your Role

I honestly feel that the roles of men and women have been so badly misconstrued over the years. People aren’t even aware that there are any roles let alone ‘playing’ theirs. God has given man a role and woman a role. They are different, they are separate but equally important. The part that each ‘play’ in a relationship is the key to its success. If you aren’t aware that you have a specific role then please pick up a Bible and read all about it. We were made in a specific way for a specific purpose. A watch was made to tell time, that’s what it does best, if all the watch wants to do is run a marathon, it’s going to be a miserable watch and a complete failure in it’s endeavors.

In my observation, it seems these days that women are becoming more and more like men and less and less like the lovely, Godly, peacemaking woman they were created to be. There are many factors that contribute to this problem. Women seem to lack understanding and knowledge in this area. They are unaware they should be a certain way because they were made a certain way. There also seems to be a lack of good, loving, God fearing men willing to take the role and responsibility God has given them. In turn, this contributes to the whole role confusion problem.

Women, you have a very important role in life and in your marriage. Seek to be the Godly woman God intended for you to be. Stop being so bossy and stop trying to be in control of everything, humble yourself and don’t be afraid to submit to the authority that God has placed in your life. If you can’t respect and obey your husband what makes you think you’re able to respect and obey God? Respecting your husband is respecting God. That means, if your disrespecting your husband you’re disrespecting God and you’re in sin. Learn to accept and love the position you’ve been made for. Stop trying to be things you were never created to be. When you learn to do this you will be happy and content in all things. You will find the peace you’ve been searching for. Your husband will love you more than you ever imagined possible. Your role as a woman and a wife is a vital one and if you’ve turned into someone God never created you to be how will you ever fulfill the purpose He has for you? The answer is, you won’t.

Respect your husband. Stop trying to “put on the pants” whenever you want, you weren’t created to wear them, you can’t be both man and woman. Embrace the truth, you are a beloved daughter of our Heavenly Father, a special, uniquely created woman. Know your role and stop disrespecting and undermining your husband. Trust in the Lord.

Men, how are you holding up with your God given responsibilities? Are you the spiritual head of your house? Are you loving your wife the way Christ loved the church? Do you take your wife into account every time you make a decision that will greatly affect her? Do you have her best interest at heart? Are you loving your wife as much as you love yourself?

Women, respect your husbands unconditionally. That means even if your husband “doesn’t deserve it” respect him anyway. Find out what it is he finds disrespectful and don’t do it! Men, love your wife unconditionally. Even when she’s unlovely and “doesn’t deserve it”, love her anyway. We seem to always want to put the blame on someone else rather than swallow our pride and take responsibility for our actions. Be obedient. Become what you were created to be. Stop fighting your way through life trying to be someone or something you were never meant to be!

“Humble yourself, trust in the Lord and exalt God above yourself.” (Pastor Tim Chambers, 2009)

Single Daughters, learn this truth now, prepare yourself, be ready for the day you become a wife.